Marriage Life ^5

Have been officially married for 5 months. There’s so much you learnt as a wife, even 5 years in a Relationship with the same man won’t prepare you for marriage life. It is all a bitter sweet learning curve isn’t it? I have to shake perceptions off people’s mind that just because we have been in a long term relationship and eventually married, doesn’t mean that we had it good the whole time. There’s been several peaks and abundance of lows to get to where we are today.
I don’t consider our relationship as lucky but more like it has been written in our paths.
And even till now, nothing has changed.. it’s still all the same. You’ll get the highest peaks and struck with the deepest lows. Relationships can never be perfect. Ever. If it is, wouldn’t the world be a better place? There’s no broken homes, broken friendships and severe family ties. So quit thinking we had it good, because we definitely don’t. Each day i pray to be a better wife, to have the patience and strength to get through the tests he has challenged us with. Each day, i prayed he gave us the light in this dark road that we’re taking.
I wouldn’t doubt it, i still have butterflies in my stomach whenever i see him. If i could race it back home (instead of taking the bus!) i would have, every single day just to see his smile. Despite us both annoying each other to the fullest everyday. Despite us arguing about petty stuff. At times how much we hate each other and wish we have spells to make each other *poof*! God chose us to be with each other for a reason, we both might not figured it out yet. But insya Allah one day we will.

Firsts of changes and adaptation

it has been nearly 4 months since our wedding day. 

so much has changed. so many changes to adapt. time to blab a little.

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It was definitely not easy moving in with the In Laws for a Girl like me. I had jitters of a different kind. Been living independently for the last 4 years and to move back living with a family was quite an adapting change. 

Despite how awesome and great your in laws are, you’ll always feel that there has been an invisible expectation that was put before you even came into the family. Nonetheless, I count it upon my blessing in so many ways.

Reading a few of my friend’s Facebook statuses regarding their Siblings-In-Law made me shudder if i have been doing things wrong or should have i done things differently. Nonetheless, i woke up every morning trying to do things differently in order to please the household. Yet, you are your own worse critic, hence, nothing was ever sufficient. Alhamdullilah, a step at a time, it eases me through the transition… 

“If there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations.” – Yasmin Mogahed

Marriage is way different than your average relationships and nevertheless, it doesn’t prepare you no matter how long you have been in the relationship before you got married to your husband.

Petty fights are not as easy as sleeping over it or run away or avoiding calls when you were living separately. Now, the anger lingers stronger since you’re stuck under that one roof. It can be emotionally draining when you got nowhere to hide. Facing it head on can be as challenging as crying silently, wishing it will all go away.

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Looking forward to what this phase of life brings me. Good or Bad. Redha is the key.