I may not be good enough for them. One day when you grow up, Ayden, I hope you’ll whisper to me that I am good enough to be your mother.”


This is for the people that matters ❤️

Finally sitting here and enjoying my view of Ayden napping. Sometimes it’s just so hard to take a breather when you have a child that needs constant attention due to his phase of separation anxiety these days, it gets… wait for it…

Yes and someone is up!

(2 hours later..) 🕦

Here I am continuing this entry. In between the time Ayden woke up, he had his playtime yet still fussy, we ended up in a meltdown to get him to bed early. In the end, we both slept! This is our never ending dramas together EVERYDAY. Ayden and I! Tonight Mum 1 Ayden 0. Lucky night.

So dear friends, I’ve developed mind-texting-reply syndrome since the beginning of motherhood now. You know when I received a text and in my mind I replied your text but in reality I did not. And on occasions when I browse my messages and realised that “GOSH I DIDNT REPLY HIS/HER TEXT AND ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS!” Sorry Filzah 😫 the list goes on..  This has been happening a lot lately and I deeply apologise 😔 it was never intentional! It’s not like I have a lot on my mind, only God knows why?

Impromptu plans are always the best! Back in the day prior to February 2016, We used to call/text each other up and meet up in the next hour or later in the day for whatevs. I sincerely DO miss them days. Now it seems like impromptu plans needs to take place the week before. When I received texts like these ; “Hey lets meet up for dinner in the city tonight!” We have all these different scenarios unfolding in our heads, ‘Is there enough time to come home from work; get Ayden ready and pack his stuff? What’s the weather going to be like? How do we have to dress Ayden? Naptime issues? Things to pack? Carrier VS Pram? How’s parking like at the venue? Is it far for us to walk hence need the pram? On most occasions, we managed it pretty well. But on some days, we struggle to get out of the door just because. So my friends, if there are days that we couldn’t make it to your invite, please accept our apologies.

Sometimes I get carried away talking about motherhood, diaper change struggles and whatnots. I just can’t help it. Deep down please do know that I still get excited talking about Justin Bieber concert that’s happening next year, still go crazy over Zac Efron and Channing Tatum and wish that I am Chrissy Teigen on some days! So these will soon pass, please don’t hesitate to ask me out or include me in your convos and invites, I still crave for my girly time. Big time!

Motherhood may have taken over my life like a storm but do know I am still the same person as I am before. I will still be there for you the best I can, be it a listener or a friend to talk to. Things maybe a tad different that I tend to tow Ayden everywhere with me now but I will still try to meet you as much as I can. I deserve a lil bit of sanity too!

So for whatever shortcomings I have thus far, please forgive me!


Two Words Too Fast!

Ayden just turned six months a few days ago! Oh my how time flies!


And to celebrate he had his first Solids! Yay another milestone achieved! Oh this boy ate it all! His first bowl of Cerelac and me, I just beamed with pride! He looks so content eating his meal! We were so excited to feed him, we (ok not even!) I even got him an Airplane spoon! Haha OMG Newbie Parent Alert!

As excited as I was, part of me will miss this moments. He’s growing up so quickly! I want to be in every moment with him! As much as I can!

Work drains me all the time but the thought of rushing home to kiss this lil man forgets all the stress I had at work.

We did have a few unsettled nights especially when he is learning a new skill. It can be frustrating but quite rewarding to know that he is picking up new skills along the way. Very proud mumma!


Because I work full time, it’s hard to go on play dates and when we do, it’s so nice to see him playing with other kids.

Mummy did had a movie matinee with her girlfriend while Baba looks after Ayden! Oh my it’s been a while! What a movie to watch as well! Bad Moms! It’s awesome! Every mom shld go for destress  movie night and watch the movie with their girlfriends! Highly recommended 😘



Trippin it with a Baby in Kay-EL Pt 2

During this vacation trip we shuttled between Singapore and KL twice! Hence, I see the need to write a separate post on our KL food escapades so that I could definitely remember some of these places as they are just too awesome.

As stated in my previous post, we didn’t really end up going anywhere much except for Pavilion for our main meals! Of course we can’t escape Tony Romas and the Teppanyaki place at Pavilion! It’s like our ritual to go to these two places each time we are at Bukit Bintang. But eventually we got bored.

We spent the day with Ali’s Aunt and Cousin at Bangsar. Had a pre Mother’s Day lunch at WonderMama. Although there are good reviews on TripAdvisor, unfortunately it didn’t cut it for me. Hmmm However I must say I absolutely love the 3 Layer Pandan drink they have on the menu! The Durian Krep was alright but I won’t order the Tom Yam Fried Rice again.

In the evening, it starts to rain heavily and we couldn’t be bothered going to the Pavilion with Ayden in the carrier and crossing the wet roads and what nots. Thank God! Hariz called to ask if we are free! Yay! So that was the start of my amazing Satay experience! We had Satay at Jalan Keramat and I reckon that it was just AMAZEBALLS! Hariz brought us here yup in the pouring rain and it was so good. The satay was meaty and the meat was marinated incredibly! We love it! We did want to go again on our second trip but our trip was packed with itinerary (mainly shopping for me!)


Sate Zainah Ismail

3437 Jalan Keramat, 54000 Kuala Lumpur

GPS Coordinates: N3 09.953 E101 43.403 Google maps location: http://bit.ly/bKpEWz

Tel: 03-4256-9973‎

We did drive around Hariz’s neighbourhood visiting the local night market and coffee shop for a late night Ramli Burger supper!

On our second KL trip, Instead of staying at Bukit Bintang we’ve decided to go for a change. We have never stayed anywhere else in KL except Bukit Bintang! So i suggested to stay at Qliq Hotel Damansara. Its a lil out of the way but its so close to most of the restaurants we would like eat in and boutiques that we want to shop at!


Our first dinner, we went to Kopi & XOXO for dinner. Yes the Husband was hoping to catch a glimpse of his favorite, Nora Danish! Haha of course she wasn’t there. The food was not bad but so overpriced! We were hoping to have some GORPIS (Banana fritters with cheese and chocolate!) Unfortunately, they are not available! 😔 sad faces on the table boo!

Such an honor to be invited to attend Hariz & Eka’s wedding! It was a beautiful reception and indeed very memorable! Of course our gang got to be one of the loudest there. So kecoh! Thank you for having us at your wedding! The food is sooo good! So lunch was settled! Whats next?

Shell Out! Heard rave reviews about it! And because i am such a Seafood fanatic! I thoroughly enjoyed myself! I love it! It was delicious! Dont care that Ayden was sleeping in the Ergobaby and me being a “great” mummy, i lay a napkin on his head while i devour all the seafood in the Shell Out signature Shell Bang sauce! Ohhh sooo good! Lol Bookings are Mandatory! You wont want to wait in this heat. I am pretty sure!

We did have a quick stint at the Kulcats Barrio. We just had desserts since we were still full from our seafood Fiesta! By the time we got there it was close to closing time as well! The Chocolate Pavlova was good, if only i still have a lil bit more space in the tummy to squeeze in more.

Before our flight back to Singapore, conveniently just beneath our hotel, theres the Thai Boat Noodles restaurant that everyone has been talking about! It was alright, not bad but i wouldn’t really rave about it. I love noodles and this, i guess you just got to try once. It’s enough for us. Portions are small, thats why people have been stacking up bowls of them as one is never enough. You can choose between two types of noodles and two types of meats too. It does come in array of ala carte side dishes! If you don’t fancy noodles, they have rice dishes too!



Shopping was a bit disappointing at Vendville and GardrobeHaus. Too much hype about it! End up getting heaps of stuff from ShopTwentyTwo at Bangsar! Now we know where to shop and what to eat!

Stumbled and now a must have! 


I stumbled on the Milton Mini Portable Soother Steriliser at Woolworths but didn’t think nothing of it. And then I came across it again at Baby Bunting. After a month of seeing it in stores, I decided to check it out and thought it might be useful since Ayden drops his Dummy a lot! And even with the Dummy pinned to his clothes, it just goes on everywhere, tables, cot, floor and etc. And when I finally decide to purchase it, Neither Coles nor Woolworths stock it anymore! And I had to settle for a less attractive color at Baby Bunting. It costs about $10 and comes with 10 mini sterilising tablets.

The Milton Mini Portable Soother Steriliser cleans and sterilises dummies on the go in only 15 minutes.

Key Features and Benefits

  • BPA free
  • Sterilises in 15 minutes
  • Stays sterile for 24 hours
  • Comes with an adjustable strap
  • FREE INSIDE: 10 Mini Sterilising Tablets

The great thing is that you can reuse the same solution throughout the day and the adjustable strap means you can attach the Mini to your buggy or change bag so you can make sure you always have a sterilised soother to hand.

Before leaving home, simply fill the Milton Mini with cold water and add one Milton Mini Sterilising Tablet. The unique sponges inside the Mini absorb the solution to avoid spills as well as helping remove dirt from the teat. Add the soother, replace the watertight lid and after only 15 minutes the soother is sterilised and ready to use straight away with no need to rinse.

Another stumbled upon product! Was at Chemist Warehouse while picking out monthly necessities for Ayden and came across Milk & Co product range. What attracts me was the Nighty Night Room Spray!

Milk Baby Nighty Night Room Spray relaxes and calms your baby, preparing them for the perfect slumber! With just a few sprays, the lavender-based formulation works it’s magic. As the saying goes “you will find your bubba’s eyelids (and yours) are shut before they even hit the pillow”

I was sceptical at first but since it was on special; any two products for $15. I decided to purchase it and try it out on Ayden! So we had our regular bath time in the evening, massage and a little playtime, decided to spray it around the room and in his cot and bedding. Less than 5 minutes into it, he fell asleep on my arms! It was amazing! Although it was his regular hour nap after his bath, I tried it again during bedtime and amazingly he sleeps soundly! This is part of our nightitme routine now! Now i can’t wait to try the other products in their baby range!

This will definitely be one of those items I’ll pack together with the other essentials to make it into a Mummy Survival Kit for my gorgeous expecting girlfriends!

PS: Michael Klim and his wife created the Milk & Co range.


Ramadan, Eid and Milestones

5 months has passed. I try not to be paranoid or overstressed about Ayden’s developments, although, during our 4th month visit to the Maternal Health Nurse she did asked if he has rolled over. Which we shake our heads carefully. Then, exactly on his 5th month, 11th July, he rolled over from back to front and front to back, again and again! We were ecstatic! Ayden has always been surprising us of what he is capable of. One minute we are worried of his milestones, next minute he aced it! Oh don’t grow too fast my dear boy!

And on the same day I embark on a difficult journey of returning to work. Full time period. It was hard and now coming on to my second week, I am gradually getting used to the routine. But I must admit I miss Ayden so much sometimes, I sprint the last 100 metres home just to see him. I am thankful and blessed I have my in laws to look after Ayden and send me photos every now and then to cure my missing-Ayden-syndrome.


During the last visit to the MHN, she referred us to the Chiropractor as Ayden has a slight flat head. We are still thinking whether we should as it is not a major concern and is only a slight flat head. Chiropractors are not cheap at all each session is about $160! Maybe we will take him for one session just to see how bad the condition of his flat head. Gosh! We’ll see…

 Winter has been depressing! Extra cold, Extra emotional! Mum just had a few surgeries to her eyes due to her deteriorating Glaucoma and I really wish that I could be there for with her instead. To help around the house and such. Times like these really pulled my heart strings knowing my parents are really getting oldL. Raya is quite not as cheerful this year but we do what we can for Ayden. InsyaAllah we are able to spend Raya in Singapore next year.

We did had a few guests over during Ramadhan which was fun. We went sight seeing to several attractions and there were some that we’ve never been before. We even took a road trip to the snow ( yes with a 4 month old!) That was a bit of a distraction and a good road trip before I end my maternity leave ! Ramadan during winter is shorter too. 🙊 Sweet!

Because of the cold weather, everyone in the house was sick one after another and that includes Ayden too! We even bought a humidifier for our room to help and it did surprisingly! It helps all three of us to sleep so much better! We even had to smother (haha this is just an expression!)  Vicks on his two tiny feets, chest and back! Oh my I never thought I would use the Nasal Aspirator on Ayden, but I couldn’t stand his block nose and surprisingly how good he feels after when he can breathe properly! Alhamdulillah he is so much better now!

I am trying to get the husband to wake up early on the weekends! So we can go out and spend some quality time! Being away at work sucks big time and trying to make up lost time is my excuse.

Oh boy #woesofaworkingmother they say!

Mummy Struggles.

It’s been two months since i last blogged.

Yes. Motherhood taking its course alright. Everyday, is always something new to learn, to deal with and to adapt.

I learnt a lot, hurt a lot, disappointed a lot yet am still very proud.

People ask me all sorts of question from my birth story to my recovery and motherhood. But the following question stabs me in the heart. literally.

“Do you breastfeed or is Ayden on Formula?” 

A harmless question i never thought will hurt me the most. With low supply issues and expressing every so often indeed was very exhausting. Even Sophie my gynae did mentioned how exhausting it will be and if I can’t, i shouldnt be too hard on myself.

From the start, we have been mix feeding. Expressing breastmilk and topping up with Nan Pro Gold. It has been since the day he was admitted to Special Nursery due to my Gestational diabetes.

After 8 weeks, i decided to wean him off breastfeeding. I was exhausted and in near pit of depression. Guilty? I was swarmed with it every single day. I feel like i kept finding excuses not to breastfeed Ayden. Until one day the husband advised that nothing can replace breastmilk and no matter how little it is. It’s better than nothing. He supported and encouraged me to continue. 

Got myself a new breastpump. Spectra 9+. Now waiting for it to arrive. For the extra motivation to continue providing Ayden with breastmilk no matter how much the output will be. 

InsyaAllah he will guide me through.

To all mummies out there who are struggling with breastfeeding. Formula feeding is absolutely fine as long as Bub is well fed and gaining weight! He’s healthy and that’s all that matters. Don’t beat yourself up so badly! You’re awesome. You’ve done all that you can and the best that you can! Chin up!