This is for the people that matters ❤️

Finally sitting here and enjoying my view of Ayden napping. Sometimes it’s just so hard to take a breather when you have a child that needs constant attention due to his phase of separation anxiety these days, it gets… wait for it…


Yes and someone is up!

(2 hours later..) 🕦

Here I am continuing this entry. In between the time Ayden woke up, he had his playtime yet still fussy, we ended up in a meltdown to get him to bed early. In the end, we both slept! This is our never ending dramas together EVERYDAY. Ayden and I! Tonight Mum 1 Ayden 0. Lucky night.

So dear friends, I’ve developed mind-texting-reply syndrome since the beginning of motherhood now. You know when I received a text and in my mind I replied your text but in reality I did not. And on occasions when I browse my messages and realised that “GOSH I DIDNT REPLY HIS/HER TEXT AND ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS!” Sorry Filzah 😫 the list goes on..  This has been happening a lot lately and I deeply apologise 😔 it was never intentional! It’s not like I have a lot on my mind, only God knows why?

Impromptu plans are always the best! Back in the day prior to February 2016, We used to call/text each other up and meet up in the next hour or later in the day for whatevs. I sincerely DO miss them days. Now it seems like impromptu plans needs to take place the week before. When I received texts like these ; “Hey lets meet up for dinner in the city tonight!” We have all these different scenarios unfolding in our heads, ‘Is there enough time to come home from work; get Ayden ready and pack his stuff? What’s the weather going to be like? How do we have to dress Ayden? Naptime issues? Things to pack? Carrier VS Pram? How’s parking like at the venue? Is it far for us to walk hence need the pram? On most occasions, we managed it pretty well. But on some days, we struggle to get out of the door just because. So my friends, if there are days that we couldn’t make it to your invite, please accept our apologies.

Sometimes I get carried away talking about motherhood, diaper change struggles and whatnots. I just can’t help it. Deep down please do know that I still get excited talking about Justin Bieber concert that’s happening next year, still go crazy over Zac Efron and Channing Tatum and wish that I am Chrissy Teigen on some days! So these will soon pass, please don’t hesitate to ask me out or include me in your convos and invites, I still crave for my girly time. Big time!

Motherhood may have taken over my life like a storm but do know I am still the same person as I am before. I will still be there for you the best I can, be it a listener or a friend to talk to. Things maybe a tad different that I tend to tow Ayden everywhere with me now but I will still try to meet you as much as I can. I deserve a lil bit of sanity too!

So for whatever shortcomings I have thus far, please forgive me!

xoxo

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Trippin it with a Baby in Kay-EL Pt 2

During this vacation trip we shuttled between Singapore and KL twice! Hence, I see the need to write a separate post on our KL food escapades so that I could definitely remember some of these places as they are just too awesome.

As stated in my previous post, we didn’t really end up going anywhere much except for Pavilion for our main meals! Of course we can’t escape Tony Romas and the Teppanyaki place at Pavilion! It’s like our ritual to go to these two places each time we are at Bukit Bintang. But eventually we got bored.

We spent the day with Ali’s Aunt and Cousin at Bangsar. Had a pre Mother’s Day lunch at WonderMama. Although there are good reviews on TripAdvisor, unfortunately it didn’t cut it for me. Hmmm However I must say I absolutely love the 3 Layer Pandan drink they have on the menu! The Durian Krep was alright but I won’t order the Tom Yam Fried Rice again.

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In the evening, it starts to rain heavily and we couldn’t be bothered going to the Pavilion with Ayden in the carrier and crossing the wet roads and what nots. Thank God! Hariz called to ask if we are free! Yay! So that was the start of my amazing Satay experience! We had Satay at Jalan Keramat and I reckon that it was just AMAZEBALLS! Hariz brought us here yup in the pouring rain and it was so good. The satay was meaty and the meat was marinated incredibly! We love it! We did want to go again on our second trip but our trip was packed with itinerary (mainly shopping for me!)

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Sate Zainah Ismail

3437 Jalan Keramat, 54000 Kuala Lumpur

GPS Coordinates: N3 09.953 E101 43.403 Google maps location: http://bit.ly/bKpEWz

Tel: 03-4256-9973‎

We did drive around Hariz’s neighbourhood visiting the local night market and coffee shop for a late night Ramli Burger supper!

On our second KL trip, Instead of staying at Bukit Bintang we’ve decided to go for a change. We have never stayed anywhere else in KL except Bukit Bintang! So i suggested to stay at Qliq Hotel Damansara. Its a lil out of the way but its so close to most of the restaurants we would like eat in and boutiques that we want to shop at!

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Our first dinner, we went to Kopi & XOXO for dinner. Yes the Husband was hoping to catch a glimpse of his favorite, Nora Danish! Haha of course she wasn’t there. The food was not bad but so overpriced! We were hoping to have some GORPIS (Banana fritters with cheese and chocolate!) Unfortunately, they are not available! 😔 sad faces on the table boo!

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Such an honor to be invited to attend Hariz & Eka’s wedding! It was a beautiful reception and indeed very memorable! Of course our gang got to be one of the loudest there. So kecoh! Thank you for having us at your wedding! The food is sooo good! So lunch was settled! Whats next?


Shell Out! Heard rave reviews about it! And because i am such a Seafood fanatic! I thoroughly enjoyed myself! I love it! It was delicious! Dont care that Ayden was sleeping in the Ergobaby and me being a “great” mummy, i lay a napkin on his head while i devour all the seafood in the Shell Out signature Shell Bang sauce! Ohhh sooo good! Lol Bookings are Mandatory! You wont want to wait in this heat. I am pretty sure!


We did have a quick stint at the Kulcats Barrio. We just had desserts since we were still full from our seafood Fiesta! By the time we got there it was close to closing time as well! The Chocolate Pavlova was good, if only i still have a lil bit more space in the tummy to squeeze in more.


Before our flight back to Singapore, conveniently just beneath our hotel, theres the Thai Boat Noodles restaurant that everyone has been talking about! It was alright, not bad but i wouldn’t really rave about it. I love noodles and this, i guess you just got to try once. It’s enough for us. Portions are small, thats why people have been stacking up bowls of them as one is never enough. You can choose between two types of noodles and two types of meats too. It does come in array of ala carte side dishes! If you don’t fancy noodles, they have rice dishes too!

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Shopping was a bit disappointing at Vendville and GardrobeHaus. Too much hype about it! End up getting heaps of stuff from ShopTwentyTwo at Bangsar! Now we know where to shop and what to eat!

Mummy Struggles.

It’s been two months since i last blogged.

Yes. Motherhood taking its course alright. Everyday, is always something new to learn, to deal with and to adapt.

I learnt a lot, hurt a lot, disappointed a lot yet am still very proud.

People ask me all sorts of question from my birth story to my recovery and motherhood. But the following question stabs me in the heart. literally.

“Do you breastfeed or is Ayden on Formula?” 

A harmless question i never thought will hurt me the most. With low supply issues and expressing every so often indeed was very exhausting. Even Sophie my gynae did mentioned how exhausting it will be and if I can’t, i shouldnt be too hard on myself.

From the start, we have been mix feeding. Expressing breastmilk and topping up with Nan Pro Gold. It has been since the day he was admitted to Special Nursery due to my Gestational diabetes.

After 8 weeks, i decided to wean him off breastfeeding. I was exhausted and in near pit of depression. Guilty? I was swarmed with it every single day. I feel like i kept finding excuses not to breastfeed Ayden. Until one day the husband advised that nothing can replace breastmilk and no matter how little it is. It’s better than nothing. He supported and encouraged me to continue. 

Got myself a new breastpump. Spectra 9+. Now waiting for it to arrive. For the extra motivation to continue providing Ayden with breastmilk no matter how much the output will be. 

InsyaAllah he will guide me through.

To all mummies out there who are struggling with breastfeeding. Formula feeding is absolutely fine as long as Bub is well fed and gaining weight! He’s healthy and that’s all that matters. Don’t beat yourself up so badly! You’re awesome. You’ve done all that you can and the best that you can! Chin up!

 

Separation Anxiety.

Two weeks post-partum.

I’ve only heard of it through Mothers when they are apart with their child. For me, at present. It’s my husband. Weird right? Been asking around my fellow Mummies who understands how i feel and some felt the same way. Although i am so thankful, he still has two more weeks of working from home, but when he’s out and about meeting clients or meeting friends. I get this nervous,unease and rapid heart rate kind of feeling.  Anxiety indeed. But i am forcing myself to get used to this especially when he is heading back to work soon. Need to shake it off.

Agreed with a friend of mine, who mentioned that Hubs is my safety net at these vulnerable stages and it was definitely ok to feel that i need him.

Then again, i am not too sure if it was because of Post-Partum Blues with all these complicated hormones overcoming me. Or just this confinement period, making me all haywire and in desire need to head out and be busy like how i’m always used to.

I’m sorry dear Husband.

We have been receiving quite a lot of visitors lately, Ayden felt so much love! We are so thankful and grateful for all the gifts and gestures. Indeed, i get exhausted easily especially when this little one has not settled during the nights. Well, it may stay for another month or two i presume. Indeed, it is challenging and overwhelming from late night exhaustion and breastfeeding, but know that every hardship there will be ease. I can’t wait for then. In the meantime, the support i’ve received from my Mother groups in Melbourne and Singapore, the Husband, family and friends has been amazing and had helped me in so many ways to stay grounded!

I remember going to my Gynae during the late stages of my pregnancy and she asked what i was worried about the most. Of course i mentioned the labour pain. Her reply was that will be the least of things to worry about, and what i really need to worry about is recovery and my support system after birth. That’s the most important. And now i am starting to agree.

There are some nights i go out of my mind thinking what i do wrong. But watching you both sleeping beside me in the mornings regain my sanity and pushed myself to be a better mummy everyday.

 

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We have been eating out so regularly since i started my Maternity Leave. I love cooking but these days it just takes heaps of effort. And additionally my strong nesting instincts kicked in more than my desire for kitchen escapades.

Teethering between my Singapore Mummys whatsapp group and Melbourne Mummy Facebook group, women from all sorts of ages,background, moms and first time moms filled this group with their births, their rants, their worries and experiences. It’s really good but at the same time i do have my worries. Well what do you expect right from an excited first time mom who have no clue about labour and recovery and at the same time anxiety attacks floods through her mind every now and then! ☝🏼 yes i do balls my eyes out at nights, even hubs don’t ask anymore as he knows im more afraid for what comes may!

But there’s times (like now!) i have thoughts where i am like how will we ever prepare ourself? How do we know we have prepared ourself enough? And then there’s Redha and Tawakkal. Where we accept what Allah has and will provide for us and our trust in him that whatever he bestow upon us is the best for us and what he made us missed is for our own good.

We are 38+2 today! They say its just a waiting game for now! But for us, it still is a waiting game but we will be heading to the hospital tomorrow night to be induced. Its really nerve wrecking. Here i am praying hard that the gel or whatnots works on me and my body will react successfully. InsyaAllah 😇 And we can see our lil bundle of joy in the next couple of days 👶🏽

The husband reminded me to do all my errands (he knows i will always have something to do! No matter what! I just like keeping myself busy!) today, so ill be able to relax and be calm before heading to the hospital tomorrow. So i guess last laundry for me to do today, dusting here and there, maybe have an ice cream treat at The Pines. Originally wanted to have a pedicure, but the husband decided to help me cut my toenails instead 🙊 thats the first ever time! I feel so loved 😍

This might be my last post before the baby comes. Please keep us in your prayers.

May Allah have mercy on us and may He make my delivery and recovery as safe as possible, smooth and painless. Amin.