Trippin it with a Baby MEL – KL


At 18weeks, Ayden took his first flight out! A 7.5hours flight to KL was the start of our vacation! Indeed it was quite nerve wrecking for us both not knowing how he’ll be on the flight. We’ve got a corner two seater seat with a bassinet on our Emirates flight. Slightly after take off, we fed him and luckily he dozed straight after! Well indeed it was a 2:40am flight which coincides with his bedtime.


Thinking that it would be a breeze with the use of a bassinet, we were so wrong. Flying across the Timor and Java sea, where the turbulence were a regular occurrence, we had to keep carrying, unbuckling Ayden out of his bassinet and strapped him on my lap during each episode. After the 4th, we were exhausted and end up having Ayden on our laps throughout the flight!

As we were about to descend, Ayden woke up. Tried to feed him but he was restless and fidgeting! He was a bit fussy but that didn’t last very long! Thank god! Of course the weather in KL was very hot and humid! It bothered us more than Ayden did. He was happily sleeping in his Ergobaby carrier through the heat and noise! The Ergobaby was indeed a saviour and a must for our future travels. Highly recommended!

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It was a weekend of a beautiful wedding of Yanna & Amir at the Royale Chulan where we stayed during our trip and savoured heaps of awesome food! 

Thank you guys for inviting us to your beautiful wedding! Definitely an honour and we miss you heaps Yanna! Hope to catch up when you’re down under! Will definitely blog more on this wedding soon!

We did celebrate my first Mother’s Day that weekend too with Teppanyaki lunch! It was a great start to the homecoming vacation. Even though Pavillion was our go to place that whole weekend since it’s nice and close and we just want to relax without venturing too far out!

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Then, it was time for Singapore. Meaning constant meet ups, stuffing our faces with food 24/7, endless family time, shopping and being tourists ourselves! Of course no matter how much time we have, there’s bound to be people we just didn’t have the time to meet, places to see and food to eat! There’s just not enough time! But this trip is all about Ayden bonding with his grandparents and spending as much quality time with the family!

Separation Anxiety.

Two weeks post-partum.

I’ve only heard of it through Mothers when they are apart with their child. For me, at present. It’s my husband. Weird right? Been asking around my fellow Mummies who understands how i feel and some felt the same way. Although i am so thankful, he still has two more weeks of working from home, but when he’s out and about meeting clients or meeting friends. I get this nervous,unease and rapid heart rate kind of feeling.  Anxiety indeed. But i am forcing myself to get used to this especially when he is heading back to work soon. Need to shake it off.

Agreed with a friend of mine, who mentioned that Hubs is my safety net at these vulnerable stages and it was definitely ok to feel that i need him.

Then again, i am not too sure if it was because of Post-Partum Blues with all these complicated hormones overcoming me. Or just this confinement period, making me all haywire and in desire need to head out and be busy like how i’m always used to.

I’m sorry dear Husband.

We have been receiving quite a lot of visitors lately, Ayden felt so much love! We are so thankful and grateful for all the gifts and gestures. Indeed, i get exhausted easily especially when this little one has not settled during the nights. Well, it may stay for another month or two i presume. Indeed, it is challenging and overwhelming from late night exhaustion and breastfeeding, but know that every hardship there will be ease. I can’t wait for then. In the meantime, the support i’ve received from my Mother groups in Melbourne and Singapore, the Husband, family and friends has been amazing and had helped me in so many ways to stay grounded!

I remember going to my Gynae during the late stages of my pregnancy and she asked what i was worried about the most. Of course i mentioned the labour pain. Her reply was that will be the least of things to worry about, and what i really need to worry about is recovery and my support system after birth. That’s the most important. And now i am starting to agree.

There are some nights i go out of my mind thinking what i do wrong. But watching you both sleeping beside me in the mornings regain my sanity and pushed myself to be a better mummy everyday.

 

Labour, Birth and the closing of another Chapter (for now!)

Everytime i typed an entry, the husband always caught me and ask how come he never get to read them. Oh wells.

Anyways, this entry. This is for you. Yes you Muhammad Ali. I always get attached and emotional when i think about our labour and delivery experience.

Throughout the pregnancy, you’ve held my hand so tight, you were always careful with your assuarance. You knew how scared, anxious and nervous i was for the labour. Yet you stood positive and excited, you pushed me not to underestimate myself.

After every appointment, every scan and every monitoring, you’re always making sure that my thoughts are focused and that i am not worrying myself excessively.

When i got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes,you were hard on me. On my diet and it progressed to be our diet. You eat what i had to eat. You made it like our health goals. You’re always saying No to my cravings because of it. As much as i hate you for it, I’m thankful.

As the day got nearer, you were saying No to so much things. You stay firm that i had to bed rest till the day I’ll get induced. The nearer the date was, the more nervous I’ve become and the more excited you were. Yes, thats how opposites we are! I cried, cried the most that week! Been praying to God so hard over the months, to bless us with a healthy baby and make my delivery easy, safe and painless. I knew painless was hard but everyday I prayed for it over and over again.

When the day finally came, we slept in to get as much rest before the sleepless night seeps in. Ate Nasi Lemak. Got home did last minute preparations and off we go. We might meet our baby that night or even the next day! You were feeling excited but finally blurted out that you’re nervous but not near as nervous as i was definitely.

As we parked the car in the Hospital compound , the last thing we said was “let’s do this!” Got to the Birthing Suite and was relieved Sophie (Our Gynae) was there. She prepped me and got down to inserting the Gel to help me dilate enough to burst my waterbag in the morning and start with the contractions and on the way for a natural delivery. This is a picture perfect summary but it doesnt work all the time.

So after the gel was inserted, it takes about 2 hours and the cramps kick in. It was on and on for the whole night. We didnt catch a wink! They gave me sleeping pills and panadeine to overcome the pain and catch some sleep. But failed.

So 7am came around. The time i was looking forward the most! Sophie checked my dilation, and after all those painful hours, i was only 1-2cm dilated! But she managed to break my waterbag and put me on the Oxytocin drip to encourage stronger contractions so i’ll get more dilation and will be able to deliver sooner. The Anaethesist, Dr. Mezzatesta came and got the epidural going! I must say he was very professional, positive and calm. He made me so at peace, putting my worries at bay and very efficient! In 5 mins everything was over, Oxytocin was in, Epidural was in and Catherer is in. Now is just a waiting game.

Sophie came around at 3ish and checked. Was thrilled that i am 6cm dilated! She was positive and encouraging. She foresee that by 7pm ill be dilated enough for delivery and by 9pm, our lil Prince will be in my Arms. But all we can do is plan and pursue. At the end of the day, God has better plans for us. At 5:30pm, Elva (OMG the best midwife ever!) came and check on me and realised that i am not dilating any further and there was blood in my urine. Something was wrong.

Next thing we knew, Sophie came in and checked. She had to deliver the news that i dread. Something is obstructing the labour and we had to do an emergency c section. My heart literally dropped. I stared at you with the heaviest heart. Sophie had to get a team ready for the operation and with all the Operation theatres booked out, we had to wait for awhile. Half an hour later, Dr. Mezzatesta arrived to prep me for the Operation.

I was scared shitless i was not going to lie. I panicked, stressed and was nervous. I knew you do what you had to do. You remain calm and keep feeding me positive energy. As they wheeled me in to the Theatre, it was the scariest moment in my life. Dr Mezzatesta kept me calm, i think every possible nerves were written all over my face. He was there just an arms length away from me the whole time to make sure i am ok. Everyone kept telling me how everything is going to be okay.

As i lay on that cold table, i broke out to strong cold shivers and nausea. You kept telling me it will be ok and it was going to be over soon and we can finally see our baby. I kept wanting to puke! And i requested not to see anything as they pull and thug and finally people told you to stand and have your phone ready as the baby arrives. Everything happen so quick!  We found out then that Ayden’s head was too big to fit into my pelvis, hence, the obstructed labour.

They wanted to pull down the drape to let me see the action, but i didnt want to. I was still shivering cold and puking and i didnt want to see our lil prince in that state. I cried when you brought him over to see me. You must be overwhelmed, i can see it in your beamig eyes. But i still couldnt bring myself to hold him due to my shivers and nausea! I kept asking the people around me how long more for the stitching to be complete. I was getting very sick. Very cold.

Finally at the recovery room, you managed to let me hold the baby. It was beautiful. I managed to whisper “Assalammualaikum” in his ears before you had to bring him to the special nursery to get his sugar levels checked. And when you return, i was just overjoyed. I thank God profusely for protecting me, for guiding me through this experience and for blessing me with a lil family i could call my own. Now as i slowly recover and ease into my new role as a Mother. InsyaAllah it will all be smooth sailing.

As we put an end to this chapter, InsyaAllah we will reopen this chapter in the future.

Muhammad Ali, i just want to thank you for being there with me every step of the way, for staying by my side at my most vulnerable time, for dressing me when i wasnt able to, for helping me through my recovery without any complains,for waking up at every night feeds when i told you not to, for being the best dad to Ayden! I pray to God everyday to protect you from harm, to give you the best he could offer in this life and hereafter and bless you with everlasting happiness! I think the words, I love you Muhammad Ali is an understatement. Cause its so much more than that.

PS: The staff at Mitcham Private, Dr Sophie Leong, Dr Joseph Mezzatesta and Dr Shane O’Dea has been super amazing! Making this journey a beautiful and memorable one! Definitely won’t hesitate to go back to them in the future!


Missing our suite already and the midwives who looked after us 24/7 for the past week! ☺️

25 weeks.

How amazing to see this little one growing week by week. God is indeed the all knowing and greatest. Alhamdullilah!

This is our Jellybean at 20 weeks! Thats exactly 5 weeks ago! He is definitely much bigger now and heavier too! Even a couple of people at work mentioned that i’ve popped out the past couple of weeks 😝

It never crossed my mind that i am ever going to go through a pregnancy journey of my own. I am always terrified of Labour. Oh gosh i know! There’s no way out now, haha! Been speaking heaps about my fear to my Gynae and fellow Preggo ladies. They have been such a pillar of support and such positive women. Indeed, like what Maryam went through;

23. And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a date-palm. She said: “Would that I had died before this, and had been forgotten and out of sight!”

24. Then [the baby Isa (Jesus) or Jibril (Gabriel)] cried unto her from below her, saying: “Grieve not: your Lord has provided a water stream under you.

25. And shake the trunk of date-palm towards you; it will let fall fresh ripe-dates upon you.

26. So eat and drink and be glad. And if you see any human being, say: ‘Verily! I have vowed a fast unto the Most Gracious (Allah) so I shall not speak to any human being this day’”

Quran (Surah Maryam, Verses 22-26)

Such a powerful Surah it still is to all women, a friend of mine and i will always remind each other to recite the Surah daily. I have been blessed with a supportive circle of friends who are not judgemental for any choices that I made or going to make. Who has always been exchanging tips and making sure that I am ok. ☺️

Yup… & then there were three!

Yes so finally, at 22 weeks we decided to announce that we are expecting to the world. I discovered something while we are keeping things under the wraps, we decided to tell bits and pieces to some people due to each circumstance. A couple in our circle of friends getting hitched next year and she wanted me to be part of the wedding, I said yes and had to turn down and deliver this news as we were not even sure if we will be able to fly out for their Wedding next year. There’s a handful of people we met while I was in Singapore and decided we share the news with them, why? because we won’t be seeing them for a while at least for a year till we head back to Singapore again. There’s a few who figured out from what I have been craving and how I look. but despite the point, I will never deny if anyone were to ask.

The worst of it all was when we didn’t tell some of them “friends”, it may be our fault. but wait a minute! You don’t share your milestones with me but you are angry and disappointed that I didn’t share mine with you. If you were to ask me, I would gladly tell you. Then again, such annoying bullsh*t does happens and its just humans. And what I came to realise is that through all this, I don’t even have to explain myself becauseI WILL tell who, when and what I want to tell especially if its about my LIFE!  Careless about what people think as they were never there when we needed them in the first place. Apart from that “drama”, I think we did well as a team!

As much as I am excited, I am also terrified how I’ll be able to cope with my labour. As friends who knew me well, that I don’t deal with pain very well. We shall see about what’s about to unfold, prayers and blessings are definitely most welcome. The husband and I are very thrilled to welcome a baby boy in 4 months! And we have been working hand in hand getting things done and prepped for our tiny challenger. Please keep us in your prayers! For all the love that have been outpoured, the constant prayers and the utmost positive energy that has been instilled since the announcement, we are such blessed parents-to-be to have such wonderful friends! 🙂