A + A ~ Sydney

Posted in Travel by

Finally i am on Maternity Leave and trying to sort out all the chores before bub arrives. So we had been toying for ideas to do for our Anniversary and most possibly our last trip before i pop. We had staycations in mind randomly. And then bam, Hubs got a memo that he had to go to Sydney for work!

Perfect.

So there i was tagging along! Got the Gynae letter signed which Virgin Airlines didnt even check! We were there from Thursday to Sunday. Hubs had to work on Thursday and Friday and we end up exploring on the weekend!

 Out and about at Hyde Park!


Walked everywhere with this bump of mine exploring what Sydney has to offer! Queen Victoria Building was my favorite in terms of Architecture!

 On weeknights after hubs finish work, we kickback at Darling Harbour. Soaking up the nice cool scenery and good food.

Quite surprised that they have Laduree in Australia. Remeniscing our times in Paris.


Of course we can’t leave Sydney, without heading to Bondi! Ribs & Burgers.. Ben & Jerrys!



  

  Happy Advanced Anniversary to us!

rants

Posted in Journal, Pregnancy by

Ive been having the exact same thoughts like how I’m going to handle the labour pain, how do i know my pain threshold, how can i do this, what are the effects. Even after going through classes i still am scared but not as much as before. Ive been @themidwifemumma on instagram. Shes been really helpful with her posts. Should focus on feeding your brains on positive words, try to find out the labour stages so you know exactly what you will be going through as they will be in stages and if you want to watch, watch only the positive labour videos. Read up on the pain relief options and no matter what happens at the back of your mind, do know that they are there to help you. And i learnt this, ppl gonna judge you and tell you what to have or not to have. But they are not your body or your pain, do what you feel is right. Dun care whether you wanna c sect or epi, it doesn’t make you less of a mother/woman. Trust your instincts. She also said to try breathing techniques it helps and works better to control your mind. I am still learning and still scared. But i am sure we will always be able to support each other! Fighting 😉

3-0 uhoh!

Posted in Pregnancy by


I shall do a write up as i am sitting her watching the husband in his element. Go Karting of course!

How time flies! Woke up to a string of reminders that Tsumtsum (that’s what we call bub since day 1 until we figured out a proper name! 🙊) turned 30 weeks today! Omg! As usual i panicked. 10 more weeks to go! Its all exciting, nerve wrecking and so much anxiety at the same time!

Future Aunts and Uncles surprised me with a baby shower a few weeks ago! When i say me, it was because the husband knew all along about the plan! We decided not to hold one just because i think all we really need is sincere prayers for mum and bub and also because we have got all the necessities for the bub 😍 Masya Allah i was just blown away with the gesture and was just in shocked pretty much through the night!

Such a great feast with awesome company, hilarious games and just the atmosphere was super awesome! Can never be more grateful 😍 May Allah bless each and everyone of them who made this surprise baby shower possible including the boys! May Allah showers them with abundance of barakah, rezeki and happiness!

We’ve attended two out three birthing and parenting class that was organised by the hospital. It was somewhat informational and helpful. To the husband at least, for me it just freaked me out! Well until the part where she discussed about pain relief options. I was just trying to make sense of it all. Oh! Oh the two videos we were shown about labour, it was quite hmmm i cant even think of a word! It scared me out of my wits!

Sadly, we had to miss the next class due to our Sydney trip and had to join another class in January! All i can say is that this last trimester has been quite a challenge with the GD, heartburn, fatigue and a baby kicking a storm in my tummy! Some of the symptoms i never had before began to resurfaced this time round.

I can’t wait to visit the gynae in two weeks! I am more worried how much Tsumtsum has grown particularly now that i have GD.

10 more weeks. 😵

 

 

Maybe.

Posted in Journal by

Every now and then, the news of cheating partners lay by on my newsfeed. I sit there pondering to myself if my spouse is doing the same. And that’s just me.

Irregardless whether its the man or the woman, cheating i despise. No matter how good your reasons you kept shooting to prove your innocence. Cheating period. is not on! 

Being in the same boat myself prior to getting married to my husband. It wasn’t my husband. It was an emotional rollercoaster. You trusted that person with all you got, you knew the relationship was for the long run, you both had visions of getting married and have a family. But that one day came, you got the phonecall you wish you didn’t take but looking back you are so thankful you did.

“Sorry babe to call you in the middle of the night like this; i really need to tell you because you’re my friend and that i hope you know that i care for you. Your boyfriend is cheating on you and has been ** with another girl! Are you there? Hello… Babe… Talk to me, please! Hello..” 

And i just hung up the phone just like that but i did text her to thank her for telling me. Why i chose to believe her, because i know she will never lie to me. She won’t call me so late at night if she knew it wasn’t important. Me, i just collapsed on the cold floor with my phone in my hand and curled up crying so hard in the most silent way so that i wont wake the rest of the family up.

Each time when i read about cheating partners, i recalled that specific time. I layed on that floor that night crying. Trying to reach that Man whom i trusted, respected and loved that was left unanswered. And more unconventional thoughts of him and that girl just sprung on my mind again and again that night.

Multiple anxiety attacks and asthma hit me! I am emotionally weak. My ultimate weakness. By the time, it was morning my tears dried up, my eyes swollen and my heart was hurting so bad. I texted Him to meet me at our usual place. He knew now that i know, i texted him countless times about it. On top of the unsuccessful  numerous calls i made.

We met and talked about it. We cried. He was remorseful but I wasn’t ready to take him back. I left. Not for long. Rather unfortunate. He chose me over that girl. Ecstatic not the least. 

That girl, she has the cheek to call me to try to be friends with and apologize for that fling! She try to add me on various social media.. She tried to chat me up on MSN. She emails me a couple of times which i never entertained. As heavy my heart is, sinking like an anchor to the ocean floor. I forgave her and told her to move on and do not attempt to contact me anymore. 

  

For him, the next year and the half was very challenging. Was full of trust issues. I was insecure. My heart was constantly challenged. I soon regretted. I was emotionally  wreck. I couldnt see myself getting married with him and still having all this trust issues. I couldnt see myself having a family with someone like him anymore. I kept telling myself, maybe tomorrow i will be able to come to terms with it. But that tomorrow didn’t come. not ever.
And so I ran. I moved. I flew to another continent to start a fresh.

This time i told myself, if my man were to cheat on me, I won’t hesitate to leave. Yes with or without kids. I am not capable to go through that heartbreak again or feeling insecure for the rest of my life!

It was definitely a big chapter of my life that was just so hard to erase. It reminds me my scars and who i am today. I learned not to give 100% in love or trust to anyone except for Allah. Because noone is perfect except for him.