Week 3.

Currently playing: Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes

Week 3 of working from home. It has been such a roller coaster of emotions. Anxiety levels has been running high, the constant news from different sources, the confusing messages from all over, the insecurities and uncertainties. On top of this juggling work which has been quite full on and trying to overcome this mom guilt of feeding Ayden with Disney Plus, multiple screen times to keep him occupied while I try to get through my work and getting him away from everyone else who’s busy working from home (Full House!). Now, Kind of regretting not bringing my second screen home. Felt like my efficiency level went down by 50%!

We have been keeping Ayden in since we started working from home three weeks ago. It was a hard decision for me personally because I knew how much Ayden enjoys school and that he misses all his friends a lot especially his best friend Braydon and Nolan. It was quite difficult to explain to him the situation in a way that he can understand. Into the second week, he begins to accept; I guess a new-ish routine. And that is “Mummy…Can you…?” Or “Mummy!!!” And this goes on the entire day! So this Mummy have to hide when in Zoom meetings or Conference Calls.

So today I have been super ambitious. On top of month’s end reports (thank God it didn’t fall on a Monday!) to submit, I planned on a learning adventure of going through an alphabet a day with Ayden. Learning from my mistakes yesterday of going through 7 alphabets in one day which shocked the likes of my teacher friends! I followed their advice and do an alphabet a day. I’ll post about our learning adventures another day. It’s just hilarious!

And we made COOKIES to end our fruitful day! I called it stress baking!

I must say, this recipe is for keeps if you like your cookies crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside! Super easy to make if you have a little cheeky preschooler like mine to be your assistant. Click on the photo for recipe deets!

xoxo

Winter Blues

It’s already the end of August. Safe to say the 3 month hiatus was due to Winter. Legit.

First it was Ramadan, if you know me, you know how I go on hiatus most of Ramadan, to drive and channel my energy to regain my spiritual health. Well, i try to. I’m not perfect. Alhamdulilah to be able to live and see another Ramadan.

The first month of winter was the worst for the family, the whole household was down with flu, no one was getting better and everyone was recovering but at a very slow pace. One after another, we skipped on any Eid Festivities. we were just so down and exhausted from being sick and cleaning up after one another. Ayden has been in and out of recovering. The moment he recovered someone else in the household is sick. So it has been a recuperating cycle for him.

Thank God everyone recovered just in time for the arrival of one of my favorite cousins. We’ve planned a now trip for her to Mount Hotham. You know you’re special when someone who hates the snow actually planned a snow trip for you! In addition, It was a great weekend to go up to the snow as it was one of the coldest we had and the snow fall was pretty heavy. It was amazing to see white scenery all round.

Being the patriotic us, we even managed to stream Singapore National Day Parade in our accommodation, sang, laughed and cried to the view of Home. Managed to watch the entire series of the “Central Park 5”, OMG the heart wrenching series. You have to watch if you have not, its on Netflix. Seriously you cant Netflix and Chill with this one. I cant even put to words… You just have to standby a tissue box by your side!

Although it was a short trip, but i am super grateful for her visit. I was missing home and craving for some family time. It was such a memorable visit. I had such a good break.

We said a few goodbyes this winter, when the cousin flew back to Singapore, we are bidding another goodbye to a friend of hours that is leaving to the States today along with her oh-so-cute daughter. I am glad we managed to attend Khaira’s birthday party in Geelong two weekends ago. It was a short but definitely a great catch up! Regardless, Goodbyes are just the beginning of see you again, for me. InsyaAllah we shall see you soon on the other side of the continent, Ila.

Khaira

Today, is Abah’s birthday, 12 years away and 12 birthdays missed. Its so hard every year, and each year i will buy him lunch or dinner from 3764 miles away and watch him eat. Quite heartbreaking really. Regardless, i am very glad he is eating till his heart is content with the lunch i send him today, watching both my parents eating lunch together is such a bliss. I’m glad for the Cameras we installed at home. Never could change the feeling of being there in person. Happy Birthday Abah! My wish for you is to bring you here and visit us once the time is appropriate and for me to quickly save money to send you to Umrah. That has been my life long wish.

May Allah bless you with health, barakah and rezeki.

XX

Separation

is a far better word than Divorce in my opinion. That latter term has been used so loosely in our current generation. It’s heartbreaking.

I used to be angry at couples divorcing; more so when they have children. I feel for the young ones, growing up will be hard especially at a very young age where they are still naive and curious. Where they grew up and understanding the concept of a family and consequently questions will be raised.

As I grew older, and deeper into my marriage. I realised that it IS hard. Marriage is a test itself. You have to keep working on it. You enter the realm for marriage where times can be sweeter than honey and at times so difficult you wonder if you’re with the right person. Indeed there’s no, the one. How do you know? How do I? What if it’s written that after 5years that he’s not the one for you. Indeed, only Allah knows and he’s the best of all planners. And you do not know.

Just like everything else in life, you try your best, you tawakkal and redha with everything that life throws at you. Because He will not burden a soul more than it can bear.

I used to think why couples can’t just go back to the first time when they got together reminisce, maybe they realised why they fall in love with each other in the first place, then things will return to their good ideals and a separation is not an option. But I soon realised, Everyone changes. And Change is the only constant.

Maybe it takes two to clap, it takes both to make it work. But also maybe a separation is inevitable.