Mum Guilt

With a 4 year old preschooler, I try to make everything into an adventure or he’s never going to get into it. To be honest, working from home and juggling this cheeky boy of mine, can be quite a handful especially when you want to smash those never ending emails or the calls that make you crack your brain like literally! But this too shall soon pass and I’m taking this opportunity to spend as much time and effort I can to make the best out of this unfortunate pandemic event to feel what it’s like to be a SAHM ( which I must I admit, I’ve been wanting to be each time when work gets very stressful!) and now I am.

Every morning. #wokeuplikethis

First two weeks working from home, I must admit working in pjs are all fun for a change but it comes with negatives. I was trying to juggle workload, answering this little curious mind questions about the world, and really just trying to keep everything under control. But it’s such an abrupt change to everyone: to the organisation, we were still trying to figure out how to work out things and how to overcome our work hurdles.

So here goes my mum guilt, is me feeding Ayden screen time after screen time in between his “role play” with his toys session and trying to sneak in some play dough and kinetic sand play while I work. We had Disney Plus in the background almost the whole day. Because it is convenient! There I said it!

There are also days that I rushed to Kmart to get some games to occupy his time and trying to get Art supplies but by this time, the government has already announced that they are bringing forward the school holidays so Mums are cleaning out the shelves at Kmart and Officeworks of the art supplies and board games aisle! So managed to get some books, Hungry Hippo (secretly I want one too!) and that old school fishing game which Ayden absolutely love! But like any child, his attention span is short. We have to keep moving from one thing to another.

We do go for walks in the evenings and I try to get him out and about after I shut my computer down. Sometimes when it’s a good day, we head out during lunchtime in the backyard to do a little bit of “grounding”.

At the end of the day, we try to be the best we can be, although our best is less than perfect in the view of others. I think it’s perfectly fine during this time to feel the way we are feeling; Confused, Scared, Uncertain… it’s not easy in difficult times like these but it’s also important to show these children that it is okay and we get through this. Do what do you as long as these lil ones are showered, fed, happy and knowing that we are physically there with them. Here’s to all mums working from home. You are amazing and keep doing you!


Week 3.

Currently playing: Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes

Week 3 of working from home. It has been such a roller coaster of emotions. Anxiety levels has been running high, the constant news from different sources, the confusing messages from all over, the insecurities and uncertainties. On top of this juggling work which has been quite full on and trying to overcome this mom guilt of feeding Ayden with Disney Plus, multiple screen times to keep him occupied while I try to get through my work and getting him away from everyone else who’s busy working from home (Full House!). Now, Kind of regretting not bringing my second screen home. Felt like my efficiency level went down by 50%!

We have been keeping Ayden in since we started working from home three weeks ago. It was a hard decision for me personally because I knew how much Ayden enjoys school and that he misses all his friends a lot especially his best friend Braydon and Nolan. It was quite difficult to explain to him the situation in a way that he can understand. Into the second week, he begins to accept; I guess a new-ish routine. And that is “Mummy…Can you…?” Or “Mummy!!!” And this goes on the entire day! So this Mummy have to hide when in Zoom meetings or Conference Calls.

So today I have been super ambitious. On top of month’s end reports (thank God it didn’t fall on a Monday!) to submit, I planned on a learning adventure of going through an alphabet a day with Ayden. Learning from my mistakes yesterday of going through 7 alphabets in one day which shocked the likes of my teacher friends! I followed their advice and do an alphabet a day. I’ll post about our learning adventures another day. It’s just hilarious!

And we made COOKIES to end our fruitful day! I called it stress baking!

I must say, this recipe is for keeps if you like your cookies crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside! Super easy to make if you have a little cheeky preschooler like mine to be your assistant. Click on the photo for recipe deets!


Winter Blues

It’s already the end of August. Safe to say the 3 month hiatus was due to Winter. Legit.

First it was Ramadan, if you know me, you know how I go on hiatus most of Ramadan, to drive and channel my energy to regain my spiritual health. Well, i try to. I’m not perfect. Alhamdulilah to be able to live and see another Ramadan.

The first month of winter was the worst for the family, the whole household was down with flu, no one was getting better and everyone was recovering but at a very slow pace. One after another, we skipped on any Eid Festivities. we were just so down and exhausted from being sick and cleaning up after one another. Ayden has been in and out of recovering. The moment he recovered someone else in the household is sick. So it has been a recuperating cycle for him.

Thank God everyone recovered just in time for the arrival of one of my favorite cousins. We’ve planned a now trip for her to Mount Hotham. You know you’re special when someone who hates the snow actually planned a snow trip for you! In addition, It was a great weekend to go up to the snow as it was one of the coldest we had and the snow fall was pretty heavy. It was amazing to see white scenery all round.

Being the patriotic us, we even managed to stream Singapore National Day Parade in our accommodation, sang, laughed and cried to the view of Home. Managed to watch the entire series of the “Central Park 5”, OMG the heart wrenching series. You have to watch if you have not, its on Netflix. Seriously you cant Netflix and Chill with this one. I cant even put to words… You just have to standby a tissue box by your side!

Although it was a short trip, but i am super grateful for her visit. I was missing home and craving for some family time. It was such a memorable visit. I had such a good break.

We said a few goodbyes this winter, when the cousin flew back to Singapore, we are bidding another goodbye to a friend of hours that is leaving to the States today along with her oh-so-cute daughter. I am glad we managed to attend Khaira’s birthday party in Geelong two weekends ago. It was a short but definitely a great catch up! Regardless, Goodbyes are just the beginning of see you again, for me. InsyaAllah we shall see you soon on the other side of the continent, Ila.


Today, is Abah’s birthday, 12 years away and 12 birthdays missed. Its so hard every year, and each year i will buy him lunch or dinner from 3764 miles away and watch him eat. Quite heartbreaking really. Regardless, i am very glad he is eating till his heart is content with the lunch i send him today, watching both my parents eating lunch together is such a bliss. I’m glad for the Cameras we installed at home. Never could change the feeling of being there in person. Happy Birthday Abah! My wish for you is to bring you here and visit us once the time is appropriate and for me to quickly save money to send you to Umrah. That has been my life long wish.

May Allah bless you with health, barakah and rezeki.