Here I am on to my second mask of the day, in bed (it’s only 9pm!) watching re runs of Korean Variety Show; Running Man. I intentionally avoid watching the Singapore National Day celebrations on TV.

Watching the Parade this morning made me so homesick, I bought dinner for my parents through Deliveroo and teared while Ayden telling my parents to eat and exchanging their “I love you(s)” a couple of hours ago.

Singapore, I miss the convenience of your public transport, I miss how safe our country is, I miss how easy it is to find Halal food for all different cuisines you can think of! I miss the cool night breeze. The only thing that I don’t miss is , the humidity and working culture.

Home, regardless where you go, your heart will always be longing for where you came from.

Alhamdulillah, I still have a full time job and I am in good health. Alhamdulillah, Ayden has been spending so much time surrounded with people who love him the most. Alhamdulillah, we are safe at home. Alhamdulillah for everything that He provide for us. I learnt, we have to keep counting our blessings to always be in a state of gratitude 🤲🏼

I was speaking to Dee before and I was telling her that my mind and body just shuts. I get up, work, learning adventures with Ayden and then repeat all over again everyday. And when I think of people, I think about them a lot, but I can’t seem to put my thoughts into actions. And so I apologised for not keeping in touch as much as I want to.

Something about this routine, it can be draining, even when you’re at home! I don’t know what it is! After 6pm, my body just switched off. I’m exhausted.

5 more weeks to the end of Lockdown 2.0! I can’t wait to go to KMART and TARGET!

xoxo

Can’t believe how time flies! Where did the time gone. We are in our second week of Lockdown yet again. The second wave that hit Melbourne was far more worst that I expected.

My heart sank. I was looking forward to brighter days, little steps closer to being home with my parents. And then it hits…

Work on the other hand has been quite a challenge, Alhamdulillah. When it gets hard and stressful, pushed myself to look beyond, and be grateful that I still have a pay check coming in every month. Truly tough times for everyone out there regardless mentally, physically and financially. May Allah ease everyone’s affairs.

Discovered Monica J Sutton on Youtube. Hooked on her Circle Time sessions, Ayden has been watching her circle time every morning and it helps! He hasn’t been going to Daycare since March, can tell he misses the social aspects of it. We had a Zoom Farewell with his friends. Of course, I cried! Ayden however, was just thrilled to see his friends and I don’t think he realised that the Zoom session was a farewell!

June and July has been very hectic. We celebrated every family milestone and little victories in low key. It’s been overwhelming. It has. I feel quite the guilt, people I love, that I’ve been wanting to text but never got the chance. People that I used to video call daily, but im just consumed with everything that I haven’t got to the past month! I miss you girls, Wirza & Dee!

My parents… ما شاء الله. I try to call in at least once a week to check on them, sending them videos and voice recordings of Ayden every now and then. Nothing crushed me as hard until my Mum had to go into Emergency due to her heart a few weeks ago. She mentioned that she’s having breathing issues, her legs are swollen and she’s been having sleepless nights. I urged her to get it checked at the hospital.

Then, it happened. I cried imagining being in her shoes. She can’t see, wheeled into the emergency room, her heart rate went up to 600. Another heart attack. Must be the pressure of not knowing what’s happening.

It wasn’t easy. No. Not at all.

I considered all options, I checked with local authorities and friends who returned to Singapore during this lockdown period. I just want to be sure of my options if anything crops up. نعوذ بالله من ذلك

She constantly amazes me with her strength, she got discharged a few days later. She’s on a stronger medication and blood thinner to assist her blood flow. She’s being closely monitored at home and for a fact I know that she’s at ease, at the comfort of her safe haven.

These days I look at Ayden and think to myself, He can run after wealth, career and everything that this dunya can offer but if he grew up without Akhlak, not having Allah and his Family as his priorities, I failed raising him right. May Allah guide me to be the best version of myself that I could ever be to Ayden, and May he grow up always having Allah and His family in his heart. Amin 🤲🏼

xoxo

How fast did this month went? And so did Ramadan. I felt like it was only last week we were just fasting. Although I’m craving for my morning coffee runs and morning bakes, I am sure going to miss the holy month tremendously.

May Allah accept all our prayers, deeds and wash away all our sins during this beautiful month of Ramadan.

We did spring cleaning today and we came across our wedding albums covered with dust! A layer of it. Oh I remember the heat on the day of our photo shoot. We just came back from our honeymoon, stuffing our faces with so much food in Dubai. Thinking now, we should have just done the photo shoot before the wedding. Oh those puffy faces. Ok just my face.

We had quite a handful of Zoom meetings with families and friends in Singapore. It’s very heartwarming to be able to share our memories with everyone near and far. bear in mind we had to up our game, as my dad was dozing off a couple of times during the call * rofl*

From my family to yours, wishing everyone Eid Mubarak and Selamat Hari Raya; Maaf Zahir & Batin. Sending heaps of love, hugs and kisses.

xoxo