Collide

I have been wanting to update for a while. When too many events collide, your mind keeps shuffling them and it just gets too quick to even type everything out in limited time.
I have been following a few hijabistas for awhile. Masya’Allah they are all so pretty in their own unique way. A few beautiful instagrammers that i adore includes @shearasol @mdmluvhearts @lilmrspolkadots @ananasser @ilyana. Loved their outfits and styles. Too adorable. I’ve already had too much stuff in my shopping cart with SufyaaThe Pop Look and Zawara. Ohhh and the shawls from Sugar ScarfAdlina Anis and Sahara Shawls are too awesome too!
Insya Allah one day, I’ll don the hijab. I know! Excuses after excuses indeed but Truthfully, i don’t have any. I don’t even know what’s stopping me. I am still searching for answers from him. I don’t even know anymore what’s holding me back.
Such awesomness to start the entry on a lighter note.
And thereafter… an unfortunate event happened at work. It comes to a point that going to work has been a dreadly chore and a safety issue on my part. As much as i want to work late to earn extra allowances, it became a nightmare and heading home was the only option. I promised myself that this year, I would have a career change for a better future and upgraded self development capabilities. However, the job market doesn’t even look that promising either but i am going to give my all and try my best to get out there before i go on my vacation.
 
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Marriage Life ^5

Have been officially married for 5 months. There’s so much you learnt as a wife, even 5 years in a Relationship with the same man won’t prepare you for marriage life. It is all a bitter sweet learning curve isn’t it? I have to shake perceptions off people’s mind that just because we have been in a long term relationship and eventually married, doesn’t mean that we had it good the whole time. There’s been several peaks and abundance of lows to get to where we are today.
I don’t consider our relationship as lucky but more like it has been written in our paths.
And even till now, nothing has changed.. it’s still all the same. You’ll get the highest peaks and struck with the deepest lows. Relationships can never be perfect. Ever. If it is, wouldn’t the world be a better place? There’s no broken homes, broken friendships and severe family ties. So quit thinking we had it good, because we definitely don’t. Each day i pray to be a better wife, to have the patience and strength to get through the tests he has challenged us with. Each day, i prayed he gave us the light in this dark road that we’re taking.
I wouldn’t doubt it, i still have butterflies in my stomach whenever i see him. If i could race it back home (instead of taking the bus!) i would have, every single day just to see his smile. Despite us both annoying each other to the fullest everyday. Despite us arguing about petty stuff. At times how much we hate each other and wish we have spells to make each other *poof*! God chose us to be with each other for a reason, we both might not figured it out yet. But insya Allah one day we will.