Changes.

At one point or another in this life, you’ll realised that Change is desirable and needed. Not wanted. 

Change is not just or limited to trying to be pious or be an “Ustazah or Ustaz” to anyone. Change to become a better person. Change is solely upon yourself, not for your family, friends, lovers, husbands or strangers. Change is for NOONE but YOURSELF. 

Forget about the judgement of others, girlfriends, friends or even family. So let them criticise. The only Judgement that matters are His, and with His all Almighty and great Mercies to grant us forgiveness. Do everything with good intentions.

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I must say that attending the Women’s Conference organised by the HIYC Sisters organisation has been so beneficial. It shed some light and feeds the soul with the positivity, the strength and made us remember the gift that Allah created for us Women. Change can be a big tasks but all you need is that one step, even if it’s as tiny as baby steps. A step to explore a whole new world that has been carved for you.

In other words, you will realise that the person who injured you only did so based on Allah’s preordainment and decree.  People are only means, but the One Who decrees and decides is Allah, so surrender your will to Him.”

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fats. fats. fats.

I’ve never had people calling me ‘FAT’ as many times before, only in 2012 and 2013!

Even through frequent Gym Sessions creeping up to the wedding, i was a couple kg off my ideal weight of 48Kg (There I Said it! So you can work out the sums!)In 2012 especially, I gained about 3-4 Kg. Mostly after my wedding though. Gosh!

A couple of weeks ago, we were heading out to Cirque du Soleil with the family. I must admit i hadn’t worn my VS Siren Skinny Jeggings since i got married! Atrocious! So i decided to wear them, i could fit them but damn they are tight and my thighs were like Sausages! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Story of my life!

It didn’t help to have the boys around me to keep commenting how fat i am! 

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Anyways, as much as i could care less. Maybe i need to start exercising again. Been getting Kimchi overload these days!

Firsts of changes and adaptation

it has been nearly 4 months since our wedding day. 

so much has changed. so many changes to adapt. time to blab a little.

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It was definitely not easy moving in with the In Laws for a Girl like me. I had jitters of a different kind. Been living independently for the last 4 years and to move back living with a family was quite an adapting change. 

Despite how awesome and great your in laws are, you’ll always feel that there has been an invisible expectation that was put before you even came into the family. Nonetheless, I count it upon my blessing in so many ways.

Reading a few of my friend’s Facebook statuses regarding their Siblings-In-Law made me shudder if i have been doing things wrong or should have i done things differently. Nonetheless, i woke up every morning trying to do things differently in order to please the household. Yet, you are your own worse critic, hence, nothing was ever sufficient. Alhamdullilah, a step at a time, it eases me through the transition… 

“If there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations.” – Yasmin Mogahed

Marriage is way different than your average relationships and nevertheless, it doesn’t prepare you no matter how long you have been in the relationship before you got married to your husband.

Petty fights are not as easy as sleeping over it or run away or avoiding calls when you were living separately. Now, the anger lingers stronger since you’re stuck under that one roof. It can be emotionally draining when you got nowhere to hide. Facing it head on can be as challenging as crying silently, wishing it will all go away.

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Looking forward to what this phase of life brings me. Good or Bad. Redha is the key.